Episode 132

132: Melissa Sonners - Microdosing Connection: Simple Steps To Entrain Your Brain On A Daily Basis

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"Play is the portal to our calling," says Dr. Melissa Sonners, who joins the Quantum Biology Collective podcast to reveal how reconnecting with our inner child can unlock our true potential and transform our lives. As a chiropractor, alignment guide, and nervous system specialist, Dr. Sonners shares her journey from burnout to breakthrough, offering a refreshing perspective on self-care that doesn't involve adding more to our already overflowing plates.

In this eye-opening discussion, Dr. Sonners explains why traditional self-care routines often fail us and introduces a revolutionary approach to wellness that focuses on microdosing connection throughout the day. She unveils the power of simple practices like daydreaming and reading, which can shift our brains into regenerative theta waves, providing much-needed respite from our high-speed, beta-wave-dominated lives.

Tune in to today's episode to discover how you can harness the Connection Code to reclaim your inner wisdom, navigate life's challenges with grace, and cultivate a state of flow that allows you to accomplish more while feeling less stressed and more fulfilled.

5 Key Takeaways

1. Start with one small step: Choose a single, manageable practice to incorporate into your daily routine, like spending two minutes in a "sit spot" each morning without looking at your phone. Consistency with one small change can lead to significant improvements over time.

2. Create a "bridge" to calmness: Use tools like reading a book, listening to binaural beats, or staring at nature to help transition your brain into a more relaxed state, especially when feeling overwhelmed or scattered.

3. Microdose connection throughout your day: Look for brief moments to reconnect with yourself, even if it's just for 30 seconds between tasks. This could be as simple as taking a few deep breaths or briefly gazing out a window.

4. Reframe self-care as internal connection: Instead of viewing self-care as another item on your to-do list, focus on quick ways to check in with yourself and honor what you truly need in the moment.

5. Incorporate playfulness: Find ways to bring joy and fun into your daily activities, whether it's singing in the car with your kids or revisiting a childhood hobby. Play can be a powerful tool for stress relief and reconnecting with your authentic self.

Memorable Quotes

"Self care isn't this escape out of us. It doesn't have to be this one hour routine or ritual. Self care is connection. And when we can connect back into like an internal anchor, when instead of escaping from ourselves, we can escape home to ourselves in the most chaotic moments, it changes everything."
"All these tools that we're all out here talking about, whether it's red light instead of blue light, or grounding in nature or watching the sun, all of these tools do is get you back to your natural state. You are the medicine. It's you. It's not these tools. They are your crutch when you have forgotten."
"Play is the portal to our calling. When we get back to play, our life figures itself out in this beautiful way because we're getting back to us and we are here as human beings. And when we can get back to our beingness, not only will all the do's get taken care of, but you have no idea what you're capable of."

Connect with Melissa

Website: www.DrMelissaSonners.com

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/DoctorsSonners/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/beinspiredmama/

TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@beinspiredmama

Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/be-inspired-mama/id1653665697

YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@beinspiredmama

Resources Mentioned

Fast Like a Girl: A Woman's Guide to Using the Healing Power of Fasting to Burn Fat, Boost Energy, and Balance Hormones by Dr. Mindy Pelz (Author) - https://amzn.to/3ZOXbXh

Joe Dispenza: https://drjoedispenza.com/

Brain Tap (mentioned as a relaxation tool): https://braintap.com/

Hay House (publisher of Melissa's upcoming book): https://www.hayhouse.com/

QBC Resources

To receive our Podcast Guide, where we break episodes down by category & to receive updates from us, subscribe to our email list here: https://qbcpod.com

You can join the FREE QBC online community here: https://qbcpod.com/freecommunity

Instagram: https://instagram.com/quantumbiologycollective

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/QuantumHealthTV

X/Twitter: https://x.com/IAQB_Foundation

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Podcast Production & Marketing by FullCast: https://fullcast.co

Transcript
Meredith Oke:

All right, Dr. Melissa Sonners, welcome to the

Meredith Oke:

QVC podcast. I'm really looking forward to this

Meredith Oke:

chat.

Melissa Sonners:

I am, too. Thank you so much for having me. I'm

Melissa Sonners:

so excited to take a real life, busy woman

Melissa Sonners:

approach to all the things that we're going to

Melissa Sonners:

talk about.

Meredith Oke:

Yes. Because this, I think, is really needed. We

Meredith Oke:

are so keen on learning all the information and

Meredith Oke:

looking at all the science. And I know I won't

Meredith Oke:

look at my stats and people just, like, scroll

Meredith Oke:

through till there's like, the longest science

Meredith Oke:

sound bite enough in the podcast. And, like, it's

Meredith Oke:

almost like I don't want it. Maybe addiction's a

Meredith Oke:

little strong, but people, I think, really want a

Meredith Oke:

lot of information. And sometimes the piece

Meredith Oke:

about, like, okay, what does that look like in

Meredith Oke:

our lives day to day either gets skipped over or

Meredith Oke:

we become super extreme about it.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah, I think we're surrounded by so, so much

Melissa Sonners:

helpful information. We are in the age of

Melissa Sonners:

information. Like, you can learn about anything

Melissa Sonners:

on YouTube from making a sourdough to resetting

Melissa Sonners:

your circadian rhythm, I mean, to fixing your

Melissa Sonners:

car. Like, you literally learn everything. And so

Melissa Sonners:

it's, how do we. How do we kind of like, filter

Melissa Sonners:

out the information that we don't always need to

Melissa Sonners:

be focused on? How do we make it realistic for

Melissa Sonners:

our lives? How do we kind of chunk it down to

Melissa Sonners:

what's applicable to us and now and then how can

Melissa Sonners:

we actually fit that? How can we actually fit

Melissa Sonners:

that into our daily rhythm without becoming

Melissa Sonners:

overwhelmed and stressed about how we're doing it

Melissa Sonners:

when we're doing it, or the days when we're not

Melissa Sonners:

able to fit it in? Because that's essentially

Melissa Sonners:

taking us in the complete opposite direction of

Melissa Sonners:

what we're aiming for anyway. Like, those things

Melissa Sonners:

just make us stressed and sick and feel chaotic,

Melissa Sonners:

and that's not what any of us are going for. So

Melissa Sonners:

super excited to talk this out.

Meredith Oke:

Yes. All right, so let's start out by just doing,

Meredith Oke:

like, a high level version of your story.

Melissa Sonners:

So you are both.

Meredith Oke:

You are a trained chiropractor, but you're also.

Meredith Oke:

And you're also a mom, and you also hit the wall

Meredith Oke:

with your own health. And so your work now is a

Meredith Oke:

combination of all of those.

Melissa Sonners:

Yes.

Meredith Oke:

I love a little bit about what happened.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah, I love to say, you know, I'm trained as a

Melissa Sonners:

chiropractor. I'm an alignment guide and nervous

Melissa Sonners:

system specialist. And so for 15 years, I was

Melissa Sonners:

working in the practice. My main patient base was

Melissa Sonners:

pregnant mamas. Mamas leading up to pregnancy,

Melissa Sonners:

prenatal, postpartum, and through Their mama

Melissa Sonners:

journey. And then pediatric chiropractor.

Melissa Sonners:

Chiropractic. I'm a board certified pediatric

Melissa Sonners:

chiropractor. I think I'm one of like 52 in North

Melissa Sonners:

America. There might be more at this point, but

Melissa Sonners:

that really is like my specialty and my favorite.

Melissa Sonners:

That being said, you know, my platform is be

Melissa Sonners:

inspired. Mama. M a M A meaning I speak to all

Melissa Sonners:

the women. Like, I love the term mama for every

Melissa Sonners:

woman because I think we all nurture and take

Melissa Sonners:

care of loved ones, friends, family. And so I

Melissa Sonners:

just want to make it super clear that this

Melissa Sonners:

message applies to every woman out there and

Melissa Sonners:

actually a lot of men as well. So I was, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, as a chiropractor. My husband's a

Melissa Sonners:

chiropractor too. You saw him for a moment

Melissa Sonners:

helping us with tech support when he couldn't get

Melissa Sonners:

in the, in the room. We had grown our practice

Melissa Sonners:

together. We built our practice, we built a

Melissa Sonners:

family. We've got three children. They're still

Melissa Sonners:

pretty young. They're 14, 12 and 8 at this point.

Melissa Sonners:

But I was doing all the things, you know, I think

Melissa Sonners:

for many of us women, we look at self care as

Melissa Sonners:

this like to do item, as this thing that we're

Melissa Sonners:

supposed to somehow fit in. You know, I had

Melissa Sonners:

always heard the mantra, put your oxygen mask on

Melissa Sonners:

before assisting others. I don't know, have you

Melissa Sonners:

heard that or was that just like super prevalent

Melissa Sonners:

to me? Yep. And so I'm like, okay, great. How do

Melissa Sonners:

I do that? Where do I fit that in? Yes. Where's

Melissa Sonners:

this oxygen mask that's just going to like drop

Melissa Sonners:

down? No, I have to somehow carve out time. Well,

Melissa Sonners:

I had a full patient load of practice. We run a

Melissa Sonners:

very large holistic wellness center in New

Melissa Sonners:

Jersey. There's 30 staff members in that

Melissa Sonners:

building. I was managing them all. I was also

Melissa Sonners:

homeschooling our three children at the time.

Melissa Sonners:

Like, you could not put more on my plate. And I

Melissa Sonners:

think, you know, the way that my plate looks,

Melissa Sonners:

maybe the things I was specifically doing are

Melissa Sonners:

different from other women. But I think we all

Melissa Sonners:

have a very full plate. And so to me, it's like I

Melissa Sonners:

was doing what I thought I could do to take care

Melissa Sonners:

of myself, to put my oxygen mask on first. And it

Melissa Sonners:

was hard, right? Like in the long list of to do

Melissa Sonners:

items, where do I finally get to that? And like

Melissa Sonners:

if the daily rhythm, when I feel scattered and

Melissa Sonners:

chaotic and have those crazy moments, whether

Melissa Sonners:

it's like I was running out the door and late and

Melissa Sonners:

then one of our kids had a meltdown over like

Melissa Sonners:

their shoe being Tied wrong. Like that's, that's

Melissa Sonners:

when I needed the self care, right. I couldn't in

Melissa Sonners:

that moment go lay on a massage table or go get

Melissa Sonners:

the pedicure or whatever it was. So, you know, I

Melissa Sonners:

feel like I didn't do a great job of fitting it

Melissa Sonners:

in. But like what I was doing is I was working

Melissa Sonners:

out because that's what was important to me,

Melissa Sonners:

right? So I would get up extra early before the

Melissa Sonners:

day began. For me that was like 4:30am I am a

Melissa Sonners:

morning person, so like that's not crazy for me.

Melissa Sonners:

I go to bed at 9. I'm like asleep by 9. But it

Melissa Sonners:

wasn't, you know, my body was giving me signals

Melissa Sonners:

is like the biggest message that I want women to

Melissa Sonners:

hear. My body was giving me these little whispers

Melissa Sonners:

and signals that what I was doing was not

Melissa Sonners:

working. And I think like a lot of women, we have

Melissa Sonners:

become experts at quieting that voice. For me,

Melissa Sonners:

that voice was like, I'm tired, I want to sleep

Melissa Sonners:

in. And I would be like, hell you are. We're

Melissa Sonners:

getting up and we're working out and so I'm going

Melissa Sonners:

to give you a ton of coffee and we're going to go

Melissa Sonners:

to the gym, right? That voice would be like,

Melissa Sonners:

today I need slow, I need to put my feet up. And

Melissa Sonners:

I would quiet that voice like, nope, we're

Melissa Sonners:

supposed to work out because that's how we're

Melissa Sonners:

going to stay, you know, fit and doing all the

Melissa Sonners:

things and putting our oxygen mask on first. I'd

Melissa Sonners:

get to the end of the day and it's like, I just

Melissa Sonners:

want to snuggle with my children. No, you're

Melissa Sonners:

going to now go to that appointment because this

Melissa Sonners:

is your self care and you scheduled this thing

Melissa Sonners:

when you scheduled it. It sounded delightful. And

Melissa Sonners:

now you're like not wanting to miss out on family

Melissa Sonners:

time, but you had this commitment for this to do

Melissa Sonners:

item that's filling your cup. So like I just, I

Melissa Sonners:

felt like I was just constantly swirling, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, like so many of us are. And you know, I

Melissa Sonners:

look at stress as a bucket. I used to teach this

Melissa Sonners:

to my patients. Like we all have a bucket of the

Melissa Sonners:

stress that we can handle. And there's physical,

Melissa Sonners:

chemical and emotional stressors and they all

Melissa Sonners:

stack up as fluid in this bucket. And when your

Melissa Sonners:

bucket gets full, whatever that last little thing

Melissa Sonners:

is, it could be so small, that last drop, the

Melissa Sonners:

water will overflow. And that's when we have

Melissa Sonners:

major symptoms. We have symptoms all the way

Melissa Sonners:

leading up, but because they're kind of quiet and

Melissa Sonners:

under the radar and we don't listen to our bodies

Melissa Sonners:

the way that we're intended to. We skip over. And

Melissa Sonners:

so our buckets often overflow. And that's when we

Melissa Sonners:

finally make time or when we finally figure out

Melissa Sonners:

ways of what needs to work for us. Like, we.

Melissa Sonners:

It's. We wait too long. Right. And I think that's

Melissa Sonners:

kind of our culture. Like, we don't give space

Melissa Sonners:

for. Think about, as a woman, how hard it can be

Melissa Sonners:

if, you know, maybe you told this friend you were

Melissa Sonners:

going to meet her for a drink on Friday night or

Melissa Sonners:

whatever, and Friday night comes in, you're

Melissa Sonners:

exhausted. But, like, can we actually text or

Melissa Sonners:

call that friend and be like, I'm just not

Melissa Sonners:

feeling it. I just really want to be on my couch

Melissa Sonners:

right now? I think, you know, if you've spoken

Melissa Sonners:

out and practiced boundaries and established the

Melissa Sonners:

friendship circles that you deserve, you can. I

Melissa Sonners:

think for a lot of women, that boundary is hard.

Melissa Sonners:

And so we wouldn't say no unless we were like, I

Melissa Sonners:

am flat out laid out. I have the flu.

Meredith Oke:

Yeah, I am. I had a fever.

Melissa Sonners:

That's it.

Meredith Oke:

Yeah.

Melissa Sonners:

So it's like we have to wait until we're really

Melissa Sonners:

bad before we actually make time for ourselves.

Melissa Sonners:

And for me, that hit, and I was in my mid-30s. We

Melissa Sonners:

had a 6, a 4, and a 1 year old, and I got a

Melissa Sonners:

horrible form of neurological Lyme disease

Melissa Sonners:

coupled with mold toxicity, and that was my drop.

Melissa Sonners:

Right. And as a doctor, I know that people walk

Melissa Sonners:

around with lime in their blood. People walk

Melissa Sonners:

around with mold toxicity, and it's not great,

Melissa Sonners:

but their immune systems can handle it. Right. So

Melissa Sonners:

to me, it wasn't the tick bite, and it wasn't

Melissa Sonners:

necessarily the mold that threw me over. It was

Melissa Sonners:

all that I had let accumulate in my bucket. Does

Melissa Sonners:

that make sense to you? Like, it was just. It was

Melissa Sonners:

that final straw that broke the camel's back, and

Melissa Sonners:

it was. Yeah, yeah.

Meredith Oke:

You didn't have enough inner resources to deal

Meredith Oke:

with those things. Yeah, those extra things, they

Meredith Oke:

just took you down.

Melissa Sonners:

I was just running on cortisol on beta, which,

Melissa Sonners:

you know, I would love to talk about some

Melissa Sonners:

brainwave stuff later on in, like, the. The tools

Melissa Sonners:

that we're going to give women from this episode.

Melissa Sonners:

I want them to walk away with tangible

Melissa Sonners:

information, but I was running my life in beta

Melissa Sonners:

brainwave, which just meant I wasn't slowing down

Melissa Sonners:

from the moment I hit the ground to the moment I

Melissa Sonners:

went to bed, whether it was the speed of my

Melissa Sonners:

thoughts or the speed of my actions. And so my

Melissa Sonners:

body didn't give me a choice. I mean, I

Melissa Sonners:

literally. I couldn't find my way to our office,

Melissa Sonners:

which was two miles from our home. I built that

Melissa Sonners:

office with my husband and went there almost

Melissa Sonners:

every day for 15 years.

Meredith Oke:

Wow. And you, like, actually couldn't physically

Meredith Oke:

get there, navigate your way there.

Melissa Sonners:

It was like, you know when you walk out of a room

Melissa Sonners:

and you forget what you went in the other room to

Melissa Sonners:

get? Yes, it was like that, but I've had that,

Melissa Sonners:

and I know that feeling. It was like that,

Melissa Sonners:

Meredith, but so much worse and so much scarier

Melissa Sonners:

and, like, I couldn't even remember why. Not only

Melissa Sonners:

why I walked within the room, but, like, what

Melissa Sonners:

room I was physically in. It was so bizarre. It

Melissa Sonners:

felt like someone put cobwebs all over my brain.

Melissa Sonners:

And so what I would do on the way to work, for

Melissa Sonners:

some reason, I could remember the address. I just

Melissa Sonners:

couldn't. Like, it's like I couldn't zoom above

Melissa Sonners:

and figure out how to get somewhere on a road.

Meredith Oke:

Like, you couldn't, like, orient yourself?

Melissa Sonners:

I couldn't. In the world.

Meredith Oke:

That's so scary.

Melissa Sonners:

So I would literally pull over and type the

Melissa Sonners:

address in the map, and I would get there, and I

Melissa Sonners:

told no one. You know, Like, I would just. I

Melissa Sonners:

would take some ibuprofen, and I would have some

Melissa Sonners:

caffeine, and I'm like, I've got people to take

Melissa Sonners:

care of. And I would keep pushing through, and it

Melissa Sonners:

just got worse and worse and worse. And, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, my spine started, like, blocking up. Like,

Melissa Sonners:

I realized at some point, like, this is systemic.

Melissa Sonners:

There's something going on. I went in to get some

Melissa Sonners:

tests run. It was on a Sunday. The doctor at

Melissa Sonners:

urgent care tried to send me away. He's like,

Melissa Sonners:

you're just a tired mom. I was like, no, I'm not.

Melissa Sonners:

Go home and rest. Go home and rest. So because

Melissa Sonners:

I'm in the healthcare field, I knew enough to

Melissa Sonners:

know, you know, I was like, I'm not leaving your

Melissa Sonners:

office unless you'll write in my chart that you

Melissa Sonners:

refuse to run blood work on me. And so he did,

Melissa Sonners:

and we got my results. And my husband's a

Melissa Sonners:

functional medicine practitioner. Like,

Melissa Sonners:

thankfully, we are armed with the resources,

Melissa Sonners:

information, and knowledge that I was able to get

Melissa Sonners:

a lot better really quickly. So I consider myself

Melissa Sonners:

very lucky. But the coolest thing that happened

Melissa Sonners:

in all that, because I really think our mess

Melissa Sonners:

becomes our message, is I realized, like, when I

Melissa Sonners:

got better, that I had to figure out a better way

Melissa Sonners:

because what I was doing, doing wasn't working

Melissa Sonners:

for me. I had to get better at, like, hearing

Melissa Sonners:

that voice at the end of the night that I'm

Melissa Sonners:

exhausted. I had a long day, I need to put my

Melissa Sonners:

feet up. And instead my reality was I needed to

Melissa Sonners:

cook dinner for our three kids and family. And so

Melissa Sonners:

instead of like listening to that voice and

Melissa Sonners:

trying to figure out somewhere in between, I

Melissa Sonners:

would have a glass of wine. Like, no judgment. I

Melissa Sonners:

still enjoy wine now and then. But like, the

Melissa Sonners:

intention behind the wine was an escape. I can't

Melissa Sonners:

fix what I need. I can't give myself what I need.

Melissa Sonners:

And so I'm going to give myself this and it's

Melissa Sonners:

going to make me not care. It was the intention

Melissa Sonners:

behind the practices that I had built in. I'm

Melissa Sonners:

exhausted. I don't want to get up and go to the

Melissa Sonners:

gym, but I'm going to go. And so I'm going to

Melissa Sonners:

have this huge, highly caffeinated beverage so

Melissa Sonners:

that I can go. I still love my coffee. But it's

Melissa Sonners:

like a very different intention the way that I

Melissa Sonners:

have it. It's not an escape from what my body's

Melissa Sonners:

telling me. And so, you know, over the last

Melissa Sonners:

decade, I've really, I geek out on science. I'm

Melissa Sonners:

very tapped in and tuned into my body. And so I

Melissa Sonners:

basically have like, dug doubled down on like

Melissa Sonners:

listening to these messages that we get. And then

Melissa Sonners:

I've paired it with neurology. And what I have

Melissa Sonners:

figured out is, you know, self care isn't. Isn't

Melissa Sonners:

this escape out of us? It doesn't have to be this

Melissa Sonners:

one hour routine or ritual. Self care is

Melissa Sonners:

connection. And when we can connect back into

Melissa Sonners:

like an internal anchor, when instead of escaping

Melissa Sonners:

from ourselves, we can escape home to ourselves

Melissa Sonners:

in the most chaotic moments, it changes

Melissa Sonners:

everything. And that's connection. And that

Melissa Sonners:

literally takes a matter of like minutes, if not

Melissa Sonners:

seconds. And this is how we actually take care of

Melissa Sonners:

ourselves as women. And so to me, this is, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, this is a movement that's being created. I

Melissa Sonners:

mean, it is time. Like we have been trying to

Melissa Sonners:

follow the system of self care that doesn't work

Melissa Sonners:

for us. And instead of looking at the system as

Melissa Sonners:

being flawed, we're thinking that there's

Melissa Sonners:

something wrong with us. Yeah.

Meredith Oke:

Because.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah.

Meredith Oke:

What I'm, I'm really hearing in your story is

Meredith Oke:

that you were like, I'm doing the self care

Meredith Oke:

things, I'm working out, I'm going to the

Meredith Oke:

appointments, I'm doing the things. And we do, we

Meredith Oke:

do that. We're like, okay, these are all the

Meredith Oke:

things that I was told or that I've somehow

Meredith Oke:

decided in my head are the correct things to be

Meredith Oke:

doing. So if there's a problem, it's obviously my

Meredith Oke:

fault. I was not doing it hard enough or long

Meredith Oke:

enough or consistently enough or whatever.

Meredith Oke:

Enough. When in reality it's like, how is it

Meredith Oke:

working out for you? And maybe this system you've

Meredith Oke:

devised or someone else has devised and imposed

Meredith Oke:

upon you, however it worked out is not the right

Meredith Oke:

thing.

Melissa Sonners:

And Also, I think 100% what you just said. And

Melissa Sonners:

also, how many times do we as women compare

Melissa Sonners:

ourselves to another woman who's out there doing

Melissa Sonners:

it? Well, maybe she's doing it at, you know, for

Melissa Sonners:

us women that still have our cycle, you're

Melissa Sonners:

looking at her in ovulation and you're in luteal

Melissa Sonners:

phase. And like, cycle syncing is super powerful

Melissa Sonners:

and I love that. I'll call that a movement too.

Melissa Sonners:

Because what cycle syncing has done is instead of

Melissa Sonners:

us putting the shame on us, like, what's wrong

Melissa Sonners:

with me? It's empowering because we now have

Melissa Sonners:

information. I'm in my luteal phase. I'm not

Melissa Sonners:

going to want to go crush the gym. And it gives

Melissa Sonners:

you just enough of like the foundation of what's

Melissa Sonners:

going on to lean in and actually listen when your

Melissa Sonners:

body says in your luteal phase that I want to

Melissa Sonners:

sleep in. I think women now who have that

Melissa Sonners:

information are more empowered to be like, so I'm

Melissa Sonners:

gonna. Yes, this is the time that I do.

Meredith Oke:

Even if people, even if we miss a sunrise.

Melissa Sonners:

And that's all, sometimes we.

Meredith Oke:

Just need to sleep.

Melissa Sonners:

And that is all self inflicted. That pressure is

Melissa Sonners:

self inflicted, right? So like, if I sleep in,

Melissa Sonners:

I'm gonna miss the sunrise. And I'm now supposed

Melissa Sonners:

to do this whole morning routine and all these

Melissa Sonners:

things. Like, nobody out there is judging you.

Melissa Sonners:

Nobody out there cares. It's like if you're in a

Melissa Sonners:

huge room and everyone's dancing and we're self

Melissa Sonners:

conscious about what we look like, everybody else

Melissa Sonners:

is worried about themselves. No one is looking at

Melissa Sonners:

you. No one cares. You know, like, and I don't

Melissa Sonners:

mean that to be hurtful. I mean that to be like,

Melissa Sonners:

eff it, do what works for you. Because you're the

Melissa Sonners:

only one that you got and you're the only one

Melissa Sonners:

that cares. Right? Like, we owe it to ourselves

Melissa Sonners:

to get back tapped into that voice. And that's

Melissa Sonners:

part of what I love doing with women. Like, we're

Melissa Sonners:

constantly looking outside of us for permission

Melissa Sonners:

to rest, permission to pause, permission to have

Melissa Sonners:

boundaries. We're waiting for someone to be like,

Melissa Sonners:

no, no, like, take it off, I'll take care of you.

Melissa Sonners:

Like, you're Tired we're looking for, I feel

Melissa Sonners:

yucky. What can make me feel better? Let me go

Melissa Sonners:

buy the thing. Let me go have the appointment.

Melissa Sonners:

Let me go look on social media. Let me go scroll

Melissa Sonners:

my phone. Let me go find out who needs me. So I

Melissa Sonners:

get a dopamine hit and feel wanted, needed,

Melissa Sonners:

worthy, productive. So, like, what if we could

Melissa Sonners:

just learn, and this is what I work with women

Melissa Sonners:

on, and we'll talk about it in here. Like, I

Melissa Sonners:

really want any woman taking the time to listen

Melissa Sonners:

to this, to. To have information. But what if the

Melissa Sonners:

biggest thing that you did is, you know, instead

Melissa Sonners:

of looking to all the outside sources in those

Melissa Sonners:

moments you knew to came home, come home to

Melissa Sonners:

yourself, and just like cycle syncing does for

Melissa Sonners:

permission to sleep in on your luteal phase, what

Melissa Sonners:

if in all those moments, you could quiet all that

Melissa Sonners:

outside noise and simply be like, what is it that

Melissa Sonners:

I want? And hear that voice and answer that, and

Melissa Sonners:

it is that simple. That takes seconds. It's free.

Melissa Sonners:

It's accessible at any time. And the more you

Melissa Sonners:

start to do it, that whisper voice gets freaking

Melissa Sonners:

so loud and clear. And that's it. Like, I love

Melissa Sonners:

books, I love podcasts. But, like, let's stop in

Melissa Sonners:

the age of information, listening to everyone

Melissa Sonners:

else's voice and forgetting about our own,

Melissa Sonners:

because this is the one. Like, we have our best

Melissa Sonners:

teacher, our best guru, our best guide, our best

Melissa Sonners:

advice. It's all right here. We've just forgotten

Melissa Sonners:

how to go in.

Meredith Oke:

Yes. And that is truly the whole point of all of

Meredith Oke:

this, because I have yet to go in and check with

Meredith Oke:

myself and have myself be like, you need some

Meredith Oke:

blue light after dark. When we do check in with

Meredith Oke:

ourselves, what we want is usually nourishing, is

Meredith Oke:

usually connected to a larger rhythm that we're

Meredith Oke:

uncovering our part in.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah.

Meredith Oke:

That idea of making ourselves the director or

Meredith Oke:

giving ourselves the ultimate authority over our

Meredith Oke:

own experience, our own existence. And I know

Meredith Oke:

people who perhaps aren't there yet would really

Meredith Oke:

benefit from clear direction, but somewhere along

Meredith Oke:

the path, we have to reach this point that you're

Meredith Oke:

talking about, or we will just stay in this cycle.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah, I think the direction is really important

Melissa Sonners:

when you're new on your journey, and the

Melissa Sonners:

information is really important when you're new

Melissa Sonners:

on your journey. And for those people, I would

Melissa Sonners:

say, because there's a lot of information out

Melissa Sonners:

there. Right. You kind of expose yourself to a

Melissa Sonners:

variety of it and then lean into whatever one

Melissa Sonners:

feels like a. Like a yes in your body, like

Melissa Sonners:

whatever one you feel pulled to, called to.

Melissa Sonners:

That's your one. And I would focus on one, and

Melissa Sonners:

maybe it's one for three months, six months,

Melissa Sonners:

maybe it's one for the year. Because we can look

Melissa Sonners:

at so many things and try to incorporate them

Melissa Sonners:

all, and then it's too much and we're like,

Melissa Sonners:

scattered or stressed. And it feels like this

Melissa Sonners:

tool doesn't work. The tools work. I think we're

Melissa Sonners:

just overworking the tools. Yeah, there you go.

Melissa Sonners:

For the person who's familiar with this

Melissa Sonners:

information, who's maybe like, overwhelmed by it

Melissa Sonners:

or doing too much of it, this is so important as

Melissa Sonners:

a chiropractor, I will tell you this. And if you

Melissa Sonners:

don't believe, like, if you don't own it yet in

Melissa Sonners:

your body, you can have my belief until you do.

Melissa Sonners:

All these tools that we're all out here talking

Melissa Sonners:

about, whether it's red light instead of blue

Melissa Sonners:

light, or whether it's grounding in nature or

Melissa Sonners:

watching the sun, all that, all of these tools do

Melissa Sonners:

is get you back to your natural state. Yes, you

Melissa Sonners:

are the medicine. It's you. It's not these tools.

Melissa Sonners:

They are your crutch when you have forgotten. And

Melissa Sonners:

so the goal is. I call it alignment. The goal is

Melissa Sonners:

alignment. The goal is getting back to you. And

Melissa Sonners:

that's my lens as a chiropractor. But that is my.

Melissa Sonners:

Like, that is when you look at the neurology,

Melissa Sonners:

when you look at the science, like, that is what

Melissa Sonners:

they're doing. You're the magic. You always have

Melissa Sonners:

been. You've just gotten out of touch with it.

Melissa Sonners:

It's you. Yes.

Meredith Oke:

Yes. I love that. And I just want to give

Meredith Oke:

everyone a second to really feel that, because

Meredith Oke:

it's so true. And, yeah, this information and

Meredith Oke:

these tools bring us back to that place. But,

Meredith Oke:

yeah, we have to connect inside. There's no one,

Meredith Oke:

there's no one on Instagram who's going to tell

Meredith Oke:

you what your experience is.

Melissa Sonners:

Right. And we could, even if you feel it's

Melissa Sonners:

helpful, we can even walk through some of the

Melissa Sonners:

tools and like, how that applies to you, going

Melissa Sonners:

back to you so it's tangible. Let's do it for the

Melissa Sonners:

people listening. Because I think to start, a lot

Melissa Sonners:

of women might not even know what it feels like

Melissa Sonners:

to be in alignment or to be connected. Right. And

Melissa Sonners:

so I would start by just touching on that. Like,

Melissa Sonners:

when we're in that place, our nervous system

Melissa Sonners:

feels calm, our heart rate feels regulated. It's

Melissa Sonners:

like either it's a moment or that day where

Melissa Sonners:

you're just like, it's flow state. I have a lot

Melissa Sonners:

going on. I can approach it from this place. I

Melissa Sonners:

can handle it all. And then there's those days

Melissa Sonners:

where you feel like you can't. Right. So here's

Melissa Sonners:

an example. I had my team, A lot of my team is

Melissa Sonners:

based in Philippines, and this morning I woke,

Melissa Sonners:

and there's all these messages on my phone. We

Melissa Sonners:

have a podcast episode going out today. There's

Melissa Sonners:

just, like, miscommunication and confusion and

Melissa Sonners:

so, like, it could have been full on cortisol,

Melissa Sonners:

scattered, stressed, blah, blah, blah. And I

Melissa Sonners:

definitely have those moments and days, like,

Melissa Sonners:

even with all that, I know, like, I am

Melissa Sonners:

practicing, I'm not perfecting this. But today I

Melissa Sonners:

felt grounded. I had taken a few minutes in the

Melissa Sonners:

morning before even peaking to do the things that

Melissa Sonners:

connect me internally. And we can talk about

Melissa Sonners:

those. But what I mean is, like, I think every

Melissa Sonners:

woman has had those experiences where, like,

Melissa Sonners:

something little happens, like, someone cuts you

Melissa Sonners:

off and you're not proud of how you showed up.

Meredith Oke:

Yeah.

Melissa Sonners:

Even though you've got the namaste sticker on

Melissa Sonners:

your car, you're like, we've all been there. And

Melissa Sonners:

then there's the days where someone goes to cut

Melissa Sonners:

you off and you're, like, waving and like, bless

Melissa Sonners:

you. And I will tell you, it is not you had a

Melissa Sonners:

good coffee. It is not because you're having a

Melissa Sonners:

good hair day. It is not because your outfit.

Melissa Sonners:

It's not because you had amazing sex with your

Melissa Sonners:

husband that morning. It is because you are fully

Melissa Sonners:

connected to you. You are in alignment. And so

Melissa Sonners:

once we can help women understand that and we can

Melissa Sonners:

give them the tools and remind them how to come

Melissa Sonners:

back home, that's it. Like, game over. Everything

Melissa Sonners:

from there is easy. You're then not focused on

Melissa Sonners:

your to dos as your only measure of, like, how

Melissa Sonners:

it's going in your life. Your number one priority

Melissa Sonners:

becomes, how do I be as I go through my to dos?

Melissa Sonners:

And that changes everything.

Meredith Oke:

Yes.

Melissa Sonners:

It's.

Meredith Oke:

So you're reminding me. Yeah. Like, I don't know,

Meredith Oke:

years ago. I won't say numbers, but years ago,

Meredith Oke:

when I was going through my own early stage of

Meredith Oke:

healing process and, you know, learning to

Meredith Oke:

meditate and learning to pray and learning all of

Meredith Oke:

these things, and I could not. I couldn't do it.

Meredith Oke:

I just couldn't find that, you know, what you're.

Meredith Oke:

What you're describing here. It was not available

Meredith Oke:

to me at that time. And I came across this

Meredith Oke:

meditation. And I wish I could remember who it

Meredith Oke:

was, because God bless him. And it was. It was

Meredith Oke:

this. It was like, for five minutes, just pretend

Meredith Oke:

everything's okay, and I'll say, oh, oh, You.

Melissa Sonners:

I want to. I was listening to you on your.

Meredith Oke:

Podcast and you were talking about, like, we

Meredith Oke:

can't be in a state that we don't. That we don't

Meredith Oke:

know. That is not. That is totally unfamiliar to

Meredith Oke:

us.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah.

Meredith Oke:

And what that. The gift of that very simple

Meredith Oke:

instruction gave me was that I was like, oh, I

Meredith Oke:

actually don't know what it's like for everything

Meredith Oke:

to be okay. I think that is a totally unfamiliar

Meredith Oke:

state.

Melissa Sonners:

And I think that start out by pretending and then.

Meredith Oke:

Yeah.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah. It's so beautiful. I'm so glad you said

Melissa Sonners:

that, because I would imagine if we pulled the

Melissa Sonners:

women out there, I mean, I wouldn't be surprised

Melissa Sonners:

if 85%, 90% of women, we would have completely

Melissa Sonners:

lost on this concept if we didn't first talk

Melissa Sonners:

about, like, there needs to be that bridge or

Melissa Sonners:

that portal from. Here's how I'm used to feeling.

Melissa Sonners:

Here's my body and nervous system feel like. And

Melissa Sonners:

now you're telling me to, like, sit and connect

Melissa Sonners:

inside. Like, what the hell does that mean? Like,

Melissa Sonners:

I don't even know. So what is the bridge in the

Melissa Sonners:

portal to get you there? And that's where the

Melissa Sonners:

tools are really powerful. That's where, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, a book is really powerful. We can talk

Melissa Sonners:

about that. That was my first anchor tool. But

Melissa Sonners:

just some simple science, because this is really

Melissa Sonners:

important. There's a part of your brain called

Melissa Sonners:

your amygdala. And the amygdala is like the

Melissa Sonners:

security guard of our life. And so the amygdalas,

Melissa Sonners:

the. The security guard is basically constantly

Melissa Sonners:

monitoring for any threat of our survival. What's

Melissa Sonners:

really interesting is that it doesn't only, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, check off dangerous situations we could be

Melissa Sonners:

in. Like, obviously, we're not going to walk

Melissa Sonners:

across the street because a car is coming. Those

Melissa Sonners:

are the obvious ones. But what's really important

Melissa Sonners:

to understand is anything unfamiliar, your

Melissa Sonners:

amygdala will flag as dangerous. So if there's a

Melissa Sonners:

woman who's been living in stress and cortisol

Melissa Sonners:

and she goes to just skip that bridge or portal

Melissa Sonners:

and just sit with herself, her amygdala is going

Melissa Sonners:

to flag that as danger because it's unfamiliar.

Melissa Sonners:

And the way it's going to show up is she's going

Melissa Sonners:

to think of every reason to distract herself out

Melissa Sonners:

of that situation and find the familiar. And so

Melissa Sonners:

she will go to her to do list. She will go to the

Melissa Sonners:

horrible thing going on in her family. She will

Melissa Sonners:

go to the stressful email that she wrote that

Melissa Sonners:

she's trying to work so hard to get away from

Melissa Sonners:

it's not because she's failing. It's because her

Melissa Sonners:

amygdala is doing its job. And so a really

Melissa Sonners:

important way that we create that bridge and

Melissa Sonners:

portal is by practicing. We're not going for

Melissa Sonners:

perfection. This is practice again. Everything

Melissa Sonners:

that I know and teach, like, there are days when

Melissa Sonners:

I mess it up, but I'm aware of what's going on,

Melissa Sonners:

right? And so we practice making calm, familiar.

Melissa Sonners:

And that takes time. But because I geeked out on

Melissa Sonners:

the brain, I've, like, learned how to hack the

Melissa Sonners:

system, harmonize I like better. And, like, how

Melissa Sonners:

in two minutes can we do this? And are there

Melissa Sonners:

times throughout the day where our brain is in a

Melissa Sonners:

more programmable state? There are. It's morning

Melissa Sonners:

and evening. So when you do these things in the

Melissa Sonners:

morning or evening, and if you stay in theta, a

Melissa Sonners:

very programmable brain state, which we skip over

Melissa Sonners:

theta, the second we look at our phone or white

Melissa Sonners:

light, you get double effect for half your time.

Melissa Sonners:

And so this is where, like, these morning and

Melissa Sonners:

evening practices. And this is where, you know,

Melissa Sonners:

the light, the red light becomes super important

Melissa Sonners:

so that you can just hover in theta. You wake up

Melissa Sonners:

already in it. You don't have to do anything.

Melissa Sonners:

You're in it. Surround yourself in some red

Melissa Sonners:

light. Like, there are such easy ways to do this.

Melissa Sonners:

Like, a red light bulb on Amazon costs $8. Put

Melissa Sonners:

one in a lamp, light a candle. Like, you don't

Melissa Sonners:

need anything. I have. Hold on. It's right here.

Melissa Sonners:

I have this little light I got on Amazon. It's an

Melissa Sonners:

amber. It goes on my book so I can read in the

Melissa Sonners:

morning. But, like, I use it as a flashlight.

Melissa Sonners:

This is too. This is two minutes, guys. I mean,

Melissa Sonners:

you're walking to. Like, I sit on that part of

Melissa Sonners:

the couch, or there's like, a mat right below me

Melissa Sonners:

here. You just walk to. I call it a sit spot. You

Melissa Sonners:

stay in theta. You keep your light dim. You

Melissa Sonners:

journal. You look at a candle. Journaling was so

Melissa Sonners:

overwhelming to me. Like, it's so much better. So

Melissa Sonners:

I walk women through that process, too. You read

Melissa Sonners:

a book. A book is such a great anchor tool for

Melissa Sonners:

reconnection because, you know, it kind of gives

Melissa Sonners:

you that escape that I think many women are maybe

Melissa Sonners:

subconsciously craving if they wake up and go on

Melissa Sonners:

their phone or emails or the news or whatever.

Melissa Sonners:

But when you read a book, you're actually going

Melissa Sonners:

inward if you read the right books. Like, yeah, I

Melissa Sonners:

have this online book club for women, and we only

Melissa Sonners:

read transformational nonfiction. Because what

Melissa Sonners:

that does is if you put that book in your hand,

Melissa Sonners:

you're going to walk away a little bit better,

Melissa Sonners:

right? In a little bit better place than if you

Melissa Sonners:

woke and you were like, oh, my God, how am I

Melissa Sonners:

going to do it all today? Oh, my God. That thing

Melissa Sonners:

yesterday went horribly like. It just is a great

Melissa Sonners:

bridge and portal to get you to the other place.

Melissa Sonners:

And if that's all you do when you go into your

Melissa Sonners:

day, it will be a better day. And one last thing

Melissa Sonners:

about the books, because I love the neurology. I

Melissa Sonners:

don't know why my camera keeps going in and out.

Melissa Sonners:

I know, I know. Okay.

Meredith Oke:

Most of our downloads are audio, so.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah. So when you read a book, this is really

Melissa Sonners:

cool. When your eyes move across the page slowly

Melissa Sonners:

from left to right and then zoom in on this. It's

Melissa Sonners:

really important, like, AI. And then you go

Melissa Sonners:

quickly from right to left. So literally, the way

Melissa Sonners:

that your eyes move when you're reading a book,

Melissa Sonners:

it activates part of your brain. It's called the

Melissa Sonners:

corpus callosum. It balances your right and left

Melissa Sonners:

hemispheres. Our left hemisphere has certain jobs

Melissa Sonners:

and our right has certain jobs, and when they're

Melissa Sonners:

in balance, we feel better. And so even if you

Melissa Sonners:

read, like, a magazine or even if you read, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, anything in that way, in that manner, you

Melissa Sonners:

are balancing your brain and you're going to calm

Melissa Sonners:

your nervous system. So these are the bridges and

Melissa Sonners:

portals that can take us from feeling scattered,

Melissa Sonners:

chaotic, stressed, and that being familiar, to

Melissa Sonners:

allowing our amygdala, the security guard, to be

Melissa Sonners:

like, ooh, I do recognize calm, contentment, and

Melissa Sonners:

this space is safe. Because the last thing on

Melissa Sonners:

that I want to say is, you know, a lot of us,

Melissa Sonners:

when we're running in that stress loop, we'll

Melissa Sonners:

say, we don't have time. I don't have time for

Melissa Sonners:

myself. I don't have time to catch my breath. I

Melissa Sonners:

don't have time to blah, blah, blah. We often

Melissa Sonners:

will start to find these many pockets of time.

Melissa Sonners:

One minute, two minutes, whatever. But you think

Melissa Sonners:

about if you were, like, doing the things I would

Melissa Sonners:

love for everyone to do in those moments,

Melissa Sonners:

Daydream, play a fun song, like, anything, but

Melissa Sonners:

catch up on your TO dos. If we were to do that

Melissa Sonners:

without establishing that bridge and portal and

Melissa Sonners:

teaching our amygdala, these moments are safe.

Melissa Sonners:

Like, we can't access calm in those micro

Melissa Sonners:

moments. We pull ourselves into the familiar. We

Melissa Sonners:

pull ourselves into the to dos. And so I'm a huge

Melissa Sonners:

fan of what I call microdosing connection. It's,

Melissa Sonners:

you know, you think about if you took someone and

Melissa Sonners:

you're like, okay, this person will either work

Melissa Sonners:

out one hour, once a week, translate that to self

Melissa Sonners:

care. This busy woman will either do, you know,

Melissa Sonners:

maybe once a month, an hour massage, or we take

Melissa Sonners:

that person who's working out and we're like,

Melissa Sonners:

they're going to move their body for 15 to 20

Melissa Sonners:

minutes every single day and they're gonna do

Melissa Sonners:

micro doses of workouts. We take that woman

Melissa Sonners:

instead of the one hour massage, she microdoses

Melissa Sonners:

connection in two minutes twice a day. Like, that

Melissa Sonners:

woman will do so much better off than the woman

Melissa Sonners:

who escaped even to the spa for like a weekend

Melissa Sonners:

and a month. That's how we do it.

Meredith Oke:

This is so interesting. That is, I think, the

Meredith Oke:

best explanation I've heard of why people freak

Meredith Oke:

out when they try to meditate. Like the. The

Meredith Oke:

state that we are trying to enter is literally

Meredith Oke:

triggering fear because it's so unfamiliar that

Meredith Oke:

that makes perfect sense. So there's so many

Meredith Oke:

people who feel, you know, like I was describing

Meredith Oke:

myself back in the day, like, which it's just

Meredith Oke:

like that state is just not available. So these

Meredith Oke:

tools that you're giving are so important because

Meredith Oke:

it's giving us the baby steps.

Melissa Sonners:

And I think it's to get there. Yeah. The ba. Yes.

Melissa Sonners:

So I always want women to have what I call

Melissa Sonners:

anchoring tools. Those tools are the bridge. And

Melissa Sonners:

then it's being armed with the information, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, circling back. Just like cycle syncing. I

Melissa Sonners:

now know there's not something wrong with me

Melissa Sonners:

because of how I'm feeling in this phase of my

Melissa Sonners:

cycle. Right. That empowering information of

Melissa Sonners:

cycle syncing does that. Well now I hope any

Melissa Sonners:

woman listening to this who has tried to journal

Melissa Sonners:

and hasn't done it right in her mind or has tried

Melissa Sonners:

to meditate and feels like a failure or has tried

Melissa Sonners:

any other thing, breath, work, whatever, you name

Melissa Sonners:

it, it's not you failing, it's your body. It's

Melissa Sonners:

miraculous. It's doing exactly what it's supposed

Melissa Sonners:

to do, like pat on the back. Thank you, brain and

Melissa Sonners:

nervous system, you are very healthy and

Melissa Sonners:

efficient. And now we're going to work together

Melissa Sonners:

and I'm going to retrain you. I'm going to

Melissa Sonners:

program my hard wiring for a new way. We're going

Melissa Sonners:

to carve a new path, not only in my life or not

Melissa Sonners:

only in the choices that I'm taking, but in doing

Melissa Sonners:

so, we're literally creating new neural synapses

Melissa Sonners:

and connections. We're retraining our brain and

Melissa Sonners:

nervous system because whatever we're looking

Melissa Sonners:

for, we will start to find. This is why, like

Melissa Sonners:

gratitude, practice is so Effective, because if

Melissa Sonners:

you're looking for what you're grateful for,

Melissa Sonners:

you're more likely to see it and appreciate it.

Melissa Sonners:

Right. And so as we're retraining our nervous

Melissa Sonners:

system to start to understand calm and familiar,

Melissa Sonners:

and all you gotta do to do that is anchor two

Melissa Sonners:

minutes, even once a day. I probably likely get

Melissa Sonners:

it in once a day. But ideally, you know, morning

Melissa Sonners:

and evening are anchored in this regulation.

Melissa Sonners:

That's all you gotta do, like you're training it.

Melissa Sonners:

And so what's going to happen is, throughout your

Melissa Sonners:

day, when real life happens, you will start to

Melissa Sonners:

see the opportunities to slip back into yourself

Melissa Sonners:

when you need them the most. You're doing the

Melissa Sonners:

work without even realizing you're doing it.

Meredith Oke:

Yes, yes. And that's totally true because you're

Meredith Oke:

actually sort of, you know, giving words to my

Meredith Oke:

experience. And so I started doing the morning

Meredith Oke:

practice that you're talking about because I

Meredith Oke:

learned about circadian rhythm and early morning

Meredith Oke:

light. So the first thing I do in the morning is.

Meredith Oke:

Is to go outside or to gaze out an open window.

Meredith Oke:

But because I had an anchoring practice, it was

Meredith Oke:

like, then what followed has followed over time

Meredith Oke:

is that has become like a very sacred, quiet time

Meredith Oke:

for me. And on the mornings, you know, where.

Meredith Oke:

Where I'm rushed or there's a special early thing

Meredith Oke:

or whatever the things, and it's like, yeah,

Meredith Oke:

like, I. I go outside, but it's. I'm like, oh,

Meredith Oke:

I'm already planning my day or whatever. It's not

Meredith Oke:

the same. Yeah, like, the light hitting my

Meredith Oke:

eyeballs is the same, but that interconnection

Meredith Oke:

that you're describing is not the same. And then

Meredith Oke:

it does affect. It does affect the day. And I

Meredith Oke:

have also noticed, having done this now for a few

Meredith Oke:

years, that throughout the day, those moments of

Meredith Oke:

connections become more spontaneous. And it's

Meredith Oke:

like, okay, I'm going to do this, and then I'm

Meredith Oke:

going to go to. And it's like, in between, it's

Meredith Oke:

like just gonna hit the pause button. Like, yeah.

Meredith Oke:

30 seconds, 2 minutes, 5 minutes. It's

Meredith Oke:

transformational. It really is. I mean, these are

Meredith Oke:

really, really good tools.

Melissa Sonners:

And isn't it so beautiful that, you know, you

Melissa Sonners:

recognize, like, life is gonna happen? There are

Melissa Sonners:

days where we're either not gonna be able to do

Melissa Sonners:

it or we're not gonna do it right. And again,

Melissa Sonners:

it's why I love practice. Like, I love using the

Melissa Sonners:

word practicing. This is a practice. Practice

Melissa Sonners:

gives us permission to not do it perfectly. It

Melissa Sonners:

gives us empathy and compassion towards ourselves

Melissa Sonners:

as we're learning. And then also, you Know, in

Melissa Sonners:

those days where life does happen and we don't do

Melissa Sonners:

it right, it's not even that we're not doing it

Melissa Sonners:

right. We're humans. It's like, thank you for

Melissa Sonners:

that reminder that this is not any longer how I

Melissa Sonners:

like my life to go. This is how my life used to

Melissa Sonners:

feel, and now I know the power of these tools.

Melissa Sonners:

And so this is a reminder of how important this

Melissa Sonners:

is. But also understanding, you know, like the

Melissa Sonners:

8020 rule, if you can even get it 80% of the

Melissa Sonners:

time, like, that's huge. And then one last thing

Melissa Sonners:

that you just touched on that's really important

Melissa Sonners:

is, you know, just focus on one step. So it's one

Melissa Sonners:

step. Like, we can see these people in the age of

Melissa Sonners:

social media and YouTube, like, doing these

Melissa Sonners:

immaculate morning routines where they're like,

Melissa Sonners:

gratitude and journaling and gargling all the

Melissa Sonners:

things and like, oh, my God. Oh, my God, I can't.

Melissa Sonners:

I can't handle it. And we're looking at their 15

Melissa Sonners:

step routine. Like, it's just that one. Just do

Melissa Sonners:

the one step. Do the one thing. Because what

Melissa Sonners:

Meredith just said is, like, over time, then you

Melissa Sonners:

add on the next steps that work for you, but,

Melissa Sonners:

like, just do the one. I think we put so much

Melissa Sonners:

power in the big picture, and we lose the power

Melissa Sonners:

in one thing to move the needle. Think about if

Melissa Sonners:

all you changed was that you woke up and instead

Melissa Sonners:

of grabbing your phone, you went to your sit spot

Melissa Sonners:

and you spent two minutes without bathing

Melissa Sonners:

yourself in blue light, taking whatever action

Melissa Sonners:

stuff felt good, whatever action step felt best

Melissa Sonners:

for you, which might be drinking your coffee or

Melissa Sonners:

tea in peace. It might be writing in your journal

Melissa Sonners:

that you have no idea why you're journaling and

Melissa Sonners:

what this is supposed to do. And so I'm going to

Melissa Sonners:

list out the 10 things that I need to do today or

Melissa Sonners:

the five people that pissed me off yesterday.

Melissa Sonners:

Like, great, you did it. That's journaling. What

Melissa Sonners:

if you just did that one thing? And what if you

Melissa Sonners:

just did it once a day in the morning? And what

Melissa Sonners:

if you did it four days out of seven? Like, where

Melissa Sonners:

would your life be in two months from now or

Melissa Sonners:

three months from now? You would be in a very

Melissa Sonners:

different place. I could promise you. It's the

Melissa Sonners:

one. It's the one step.

Meredith Oke:

Yes.

Melissa Sonners:

And it's the one step that's the most powerful.

Melissa Sonners:

And I think the reason that the one step feels so

Melissa Sonners:

hard to take is because we're looking at the

Melissa Sonners:

marathon. We're looking at the 15 step morning

Melissa Sonners:

that someone else is sharing on Instagram and if

Melissa Sonners:

we can stop doing that, the one step becomes way

Melissa Sonners:

more attainable and easy, especially if we're

Melissa Sonners:

doing it in community, either with our friends,

Melissa Sonners:

our loved ones, an online community where other

Melissa Sonners:

women are going through this together because

Melissa Sonners:

we're holding someone's hand. And, you know, in

Melissa Sonners:

those moments where you wake up and you're like,

Melissa Sonners:

I don't want to do it, whatever. Like, that's why

Melissa Sonners:

someone hires a personal trainer, because it's

Melissa Sonners:

accountability. Yeah. I might let myself down

Melissa Sonners:

right now, but I'm not going to let my friend

Melissa Sonners:

Melanie down. I told her we were doing this

Melissa Sonners:

together. And you're worth it. Like, it's so easy

Melissa Sonners:

and it works so well and it's so attainable and

Melissa Sonners:

you're worth it.

Meredith Oke:

Yes. Yes, you are. And, yeah, I mean, it's like,

Meredith Oke:

whatever you can do today, just good for you.

Meredith Oke:

Yeah. And, you know, I do. I do find, like,

Meredith Oke:

having sort of immersed myself, really not on

Meredith Oke:

purpose. I don't even know how this happened. But

Meredith Oke:

in this, like, health and wellness space, there's

Meredith Oke:

so much healing that happens. But there's also

Meredith Oke:

this idea, like someone, you know, especially

Meredith Oke:

with social media and the content, constantly

Meredith Oke:

needing new things to talk about, that it's

Meredith Oke:

always like, oh, well, like this new thing has

Meredith Oke:

popped up. Or when I'm not, okay, I'm doing this,

Meredith Oke:

but I'm not doing that. And it's like, I. I love

Meredith Oke:

your message of. Of finding your one thing,

Meredith Oke:

finding the basics for you, and then following

Meredith Oke:

your inner. Your inner voice and your body's

Meredith Oke:

signals and letting your body be the guide.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah. Because you think about that, you know,

Melissa Sonners:

whether it's in our. In our community, as one of

Melissa Sonners:

these people surrounded by this information, it's

Melissa Sonners:

overwhelming to us. Yeah, right. It's. It's

Melissa Sonners:

extremely overwhelming. And we're all trying to

Melissa Sonners:

do the best that we can. And for someone else,

Melissa Sonners:

this might show up. You know, for like, a new

Melissa Sonners:

mom, this might be like, am I sleep training? Am

Melissa Sonners:

I breastfeeding? Am I. There's a thousand new

Melissa Sonners:

parenting books to read, or someone wanting to

Melissa Sonners:

clean out their diet. Am I doing keto or Paleo?

Melissa Sonners:

Or, like, we are so inundated with information,

Melissa Sonners:

and when we can get back to us, like, all those

Melissa Sonners:

things, they're all there. And I think we still

Melissa Sonners:

make decisions and choices, but we are less

Melissa Sonners:

focused on the external and more on us. So this

Melissa Sonners:

could look like feeling ourselves get pulled into

Melissa Sonners:

it. I think we still do that. We can catch it

Melissa Sonners:

happening. Oh, my God. This person is now cold,

Melissa Sonners:

plunging, and weight training. And God only knows

Melissa Sonners:

what. Or it's cold plunge after the weights.

Melissa Sonners:

Well, let me see. Like, what feels right to me.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah, cold plunge feels awesome today. Cold

Melissa Sonners:

plunge does not feel good today. Like, that

Melissa Sonners:

becomes your guide. So no matter what, new tech

Melissa Sonners:

toy, advice, movement, whatever comes out, like,

Melissa Sonners:

it doesn't matter. It's information. You can be

Melissa Sonners:

informed, but your life isn't dictated by all the

Melissa Sonners:

external noise. You can just always come back to

Melissa Sonners:

you and check with what you want in this moment,

Melissa Sonners:

what you need right now.

Meredith Oke:

Yes. And that. And that is always available to

Meredith Oke:

us. And we don't have to have read all of the

Meredith Oke:

research or all of the books or taken all of the

Meredith Oke:

programs. We just need to have, like, some

Meredith Oke:

fundamental understandings, some fundamental

Meredith Oke:

information, and then learned that we can. Our

Meredith Oke:

bodies know.

Melissa Sonners:

Our bodies know. This is especially for women

Melissa Sonners:

listening. We're hardwired. Like, we are very

Melissa Sonners:

intuitive. And here's like, a good concrete

Melissa Sonners:

example of that. Whether you're a mother or

Melissa Sonners:

you're not, we literally have to read our baby's

Melissa Sonners:

minds the first year of their life. Like, they

Melissa Sonners:

can't communicate, and we're supposed to keep

Melissa Sonners:

them alive. And so we have parts of our brain

Melissa Sonners:

that help us do that. Like, we are so highly

Melissa Sonners:

intuitive. And for so long in the eons of life as

Melissa Sonners:

women, they were very connected with that. They

Melissa Sonners:

were very connected with their rhythms, with

Melissa Sonners:

their cycle with nature, with their inner voice

Melissa Sonners:

and guide. And like, we. I, in my strong opinion,

Melissa Sonners:

we are the cycle breakers of, like, the change in

Melissa Sonners:

women focusing on the external to getting back to

Melissa Sonners:

that place. Because it's so overdue, it's so

Melissa Sonners:

timely. I think everything has just gotten, like,

Melissa Sonners:

so fast and so much and so overwhelming. And I

Melissa Sonners:

think it's our role as women to, like, put the

Melissa Sonners:

hand back and protect our daughters or the next

Melissa Sonners:

generation of girls. Because I don't want this

Melissa Sonners:

for them. I think it's. If it's gonna keep going,

Melissa Sonners:

I fear for mental status of all the little girls

Melissa Sonners:

out there and the boys too. And so I really, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, and it's part of my why and my calling.

Melissa Sonners:

Like, I'm here to break that and create a

Melissa Sonners:

movement. And for us to do it this way, that is

Melissa Sonners:

so much more fun.

Meredith Oke:

It is so much more fun. And you do just as much

Meredith Oke:

like you.

Melissa Sonners:

You get it all done.

Meredith Oke:

It's not like you're like, oh, I'm gonna have to

Meredith Oke:

give up on that project or give up on that dream

Meredith Oke:

and all the things.

Melissa Sonners:

If anyone's, like, listening to this and making

Melissa Sonners:

up stories in their head of, like, why I can do

Melissa Sonners:

this and they can't. Let me just tell you. I've

Melissa Sonners:

got three kids. I'm highly involved in their

Melissa Sonners:

school. I'm helping my husband run two of his

Melissa Sonners:

businesses. I just wrote a book with Hay House.

Melissa Sonners:

I'm running an online platform. I have a podcast.

Melissa Sonners:

And I'm not saying this to be like, look at me,

Melissa Sonners:

I'm cool. I'm saying this to highlight. Like, I

Melissa Sonners:

still get it all done. I work out almost every

Melissa Sonners:

day. I don't work out. I move my body. I do

Melissa Sonners:

gymnastics and acro because it's fun. I play, I

Melissa Sonners:

ride my bike. I meet up with my girlfriends.

Melissa Sonners:

Like, it's. You can do it all. But doing it all

Melissa Sonners:

and having it all, to me is about being it all

Melissa Sonners:

first. It's. Nothing changes except how you show

Melissa Sonners:

up as you're getting it all done. These things

Melissa Sonners:

take seconds, moments. I do them in front of my

Melissa Sonners:

kids because I want them to learn. I play a lot

Melissa Sonners:

because that's my reset. I'm a seven on the

Melissa Sonners:

Enneagram. I don't know if people know Enneagram,

Melissa Sonners:

but, like, for me, like, play is what brings me

Melissa Sonners:

back. So sometimes that's. A lot of times that's

Melissa Sonners:

listening to fun songs in the car with my kids

Melissa Sonners:

because that's what I have access to, right?

Melissa Sonners:

Like, how can I make this moment better? We just

Melissa Sonners:

had a crazy morning, and I feel spun out, and now

Melissa Sonners:

I'm in the car with my three beautiful children,

Melissa Sonners:

and I want to reset. I can't go get a massage,

Melissa Sonners:

but I can, like, blast Aerosmith, and we can sing

Melissa Sonners:

and laugh and have fun. Like, that's it. It's not

Melissa Sonners:

hard to fit in.

Meredith Oke:

No. And that is it. That is it. Like, that's kind

Meredith Oke:

of. I don't know if there's a secret to life.

Meredith Oke:

That's probably it, right? It's like, what's

Meredith Oke:

available to me in this moment to bring joy to

Meredith Oke:

everybody involved, including myself. And it

Meredith Oke:

doesn't have to be perfect or special cosmic

Meredith Oke:

thing. It's just totally.

Melissa Sonners:

I had always heard, like, I don't know if this

Melissa Sonners:

was just in conferences I was in or if this is

Melissa Sonners:

common knowledge, but, like, if you watch a child

Melissa Sonners:

around the age of four to six, you will see their

Melissa Sonners:

calling. Like, you will see them. Whatever play

Melissa Sonners:

they're super attracted to is, like, part of what

Melissa Sonners:

they're here to do, right? So, like, when I look

Melissa Sonners:

at my kids, my first one was always, you know,

Melissa Sonners:

building in the Legos. He's got, like, Very much

Melissa Sonners:

of an engineer mind now at 14, my second one, I

Melissa Sonners:

was trying to keep from, from climbing the roof

Melissa Sonners:

when he was 2. Like, he is like, wanting to be a

Melissa Sonners:

future X gamer. My daughter, who's 8, was always

Melissa Sonners:

singing and like, she loves watching America's

Melissa Sonners:

Got Talent and like, wants to sing. Right. And so

Melissa Sonners:

I think, you know, they talk a lot about like,

Melissa Sonners:

play shows us what we're designed to do or be. I

Melissa Sonners:

will say play is the portal to our calling. So

Melissa Sonners:

when I look back to like what I was doing when I

Melissa Sonners:

was little, I was riding my bike and I was doing

Melissa Sonners:

gymnastics. And in getting back to that, as a 43

Melissa Sonners:

year old woman, like, I went back to gymnastics.

Meredith Oke:

I love it.

Melissa Sonners:

I competed in my son's kid only competition. I've

Melissa Sonners:

hit the age of my life where I'm like, this is

Melissa Sonners:

too much fun and I see what's on the other side.

Melissa Sonners:

Oh my God. But play is the portal. Like in doing

Melissa Sonners:

those things, even for little moments throughout

Melissa Sonners:

the day or the week, like, I am beaming with

Melissa Sonners:

light and creativity and like, stuff is just

Melissa Sonners:

coming to me and through me. I just wrote this

Melissa Sonners:

book with Hay House. It's. I am so excited to

Melissa Sonners:

birth it.

Meredith Oke:

Yeah, tell us about it.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah, And I wrote it in like three months. Like

Melissa Sonners:

it came through me. And so I say all that to say

Melissa Sonners:

when we get back to Play, our life figures itself

Melissa Sonners:

out in this beautiful way because again, we're

Melissa Sonners:

getting back to us and we are here as human

Melissa Sonners:

beings. And when we can get back to our

Melissa Sonners:

beingness, not only will all the do's get taken

Melissa Sonners:

care of, but you have no idea like, what you're

Melissa Sonners:

capable of not in doing, but like the light that

Melissa Sonners:

you have and the connections that you can create

Melissa Sonners:

when you get back to you. So the book that I

Melissa Sonners:

wrote with Hay House, it comes out early 2026.

Melissa Sonners:

It's called the Connection code. And it's

Melissa Sonners:

literally all about all the things that we're

Melissa Sonners:

talking about. So it's like simple ways to get

Melissa Sonners:

back to yourself. I share a lot of enough of the

Melissa Sonners:

science so that people understand it. I share

Melissa Sonners:

some reflective exercises and prompts in each

Melissa Sonners:

chapter because I want women to literally be able

Melissa Sonners:

to implement it right away. And some other fun

Melissa Sonners:

stuff in there that's saved for when it comes out.

Meredith Oke:

I love it. And yeah, I mean, this audience is

Meredith Oke:

like very in tune with the idea of the quantum

Meredith Oke:

field and quantum coherence. And what you're

Meredith Oke:

describing is creating coherence and creating a

Meredith Oke:

field that attracts opportunity. And it's Open to

Meredith Oke:

possibility and. And to life unfolding in a way

Meredith Oke:

that cannot when we're super contracted. Even if

Meredith Oke:

we're contracted around really important things

Meredith Oke:

like quantum biology and the science of healing.

Melissa Sonners:

Right.

Meredith Oke:

If we're in that state of contraction, the

Meredith Oke:

subject matter doesn't. The subject matter

Meredith Oke:

doesn't matter. It's how we. How we are showing

Meredith Oke:

up that matters.

Melissa Sonners:

A hundred percent. Yeah. I love that they're so

Melissa Sonners:

in tune with that because it's such a beautiful.

Melissa Sonners:

I mean, quantum is amazing and quantum is real.

Melissa Sonners:

You know, I went to a Joe Dispenza event a while

Melissa Sonners:

ago. I imagine you guys are familiar.

Meredith Oke:

Yeah, I'm sure everyone.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah. And that was him. God, I mean, he's a

Melissa Sonners:

chiropractor too, right? So I've got like extra

Melissa Sonners:

love for him. I felt like after day one, I walked

Melissa Sonners:

out and I'm like, it's real. Everything I have

Melissa Sonners:

felt my entire life has just been confirmed by

Melissa Sonners:

someone taking the quantum and showing me the

Melissa Sonners:

science behind it. And that's. That's how my

Melissa Sonners:

brain works. Right. And so, you know, for the

Melissa Sonners:

listeners that are very well versed in that

Melissa Sonners:

topic, like, this stuff is as true as that. Like,

Melissa Sonners:

I'm talking about inward connection and inward

Melissa Sonners:

voice, and the science behind it is all very

Melissa Sonners:

powerful. It's all very real. We have just lost

Melissa Sonners:

touch with it. But it's there. And I'll teach it

Melissa Sonners:

to you. I'll give it to you. Like, this is for

Melissa Sonners:

everybody. We all have it. We all have it. And

Melissa Sonners:

you know, just having the tools and awareness.

Melissa Sonners:

Awareness to get back. Because I think, you know,

Melissa Sonners:

as long as we're living this practice, we're in a

Melissa Sonners:

very human experience. And so we will constantly

Melissa Sonners:

be getting pulled out. But what's really powerful

Melissa Sonners:

is, you know, when you can pause enough and

Melissa Sonners:

become aware. We all know that in so many

Melissa Sonners:

aspects. And you can realize what's happening.

Melissa Sonners:

And in that process, you can make a choice,

Melissa Sonners:

right? This day. This day is unfolding in a crazy

Melissa Sonners:

way. I didn't get to stare at the sun or, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, whatever it was this morning. And it's

Melissa Sonners:

super high speed. Zoom out. Okay. What choices am

Melissa Sonners:

I making or not making that could change this?

Melissa Sonners:

And that's where we have the power. We have the

Melissa Sonners:

power and the awareness, the pause and creating

Melissa Sonners:

new choices for ourselves as much as what's

Melissa Sonners:

available in front of us. And I think that's

Melissa Sonners:

where, like, being well versed in tools that are

Melissa Sonners:

actually realistic in our lives is so powerfully

Melissa Sonners:

important.

Meredith Oke:

Yes. Yeah. And, yeah, accessing ourselves and the

Meredith Oke:

Relaxed, fun moments are, you know, just as

Meredith Oke:

important as understanding all the other things.

Meredith Oke:

Melissa, thank you so much for being here and

Meredith Oke:

spending time. This was a really powerful message

Meredith Oke:

and I'm really, really glad that we were able to

Meredith Oke:

have this conversation and share this because I,

Meredith Oke:

I love you all so much, but you get really,

Meredith Oke:

really focused on the details. So I'm really glad

Meredith Oke:

Melissa is here to kind of like lighten things up

Meredith Oke:

a little bit.

Melissa Sonners:

Good. Well, thank you so much for having me. This

Melissa Sonners:

is my favorite thing to talk about. So, you know,

Melissa Sonners:

I've got tons of resources for any women that are

Melissa Sonners:

interested in learning more. I'm sure you'll.

Meredith Oke:

So yes, share us your website. You are going to

Meredith Oke:

be, Melissa is going to be speaking at Carrie

Meredith Oke:

Bennett's and Oksana's Hanson's retreat, Return

Meredith Oke:

to Nature, which is at the end of June 2025.

Meredith Oke:

Depending when you're listening to this go. If

Meredith Oke:

you're on our email list, you've got links and

Meredith Oke:

then you. So you'll be there. And then your

Meredith Oke:

website is.

Melissa Sonners:

Yes, I'll be there. I'm so excited for that

Melissa Sonners:

event. And My website is Dr. DrMelisSasoners.com

Melissa Sonners:

and from there they'll find I've got an active

Melissa Sonners:

YouTube channel and Instagram. I have an online

Melissa Sonners:

book club for women. That's like my favorite

Melissa Sonners:

project that I'm doing right now. It's not

Melissa Sonners:

project, it's a community and we're incorporating

Melissa Sonners:

all these things. You know, we use a book as like

Melissa Sonners:

our anchor tool for the month and we're reading

Melissa Sonners:

them together this month. We're reading Fast like

Melissa Sonners:

a Girl and Eat like a Girl. This is May.

Melissa Sonners:

Depending on when this goes out, we've got some

Melissa Sonners:

other ones lined up for the rest of the summer.

Melissa Sonners:

And then we chat, we get on a community call and

Melissa Sonners:

we talk about all things. The conversation

Melissa Sonners:

typically takes on a light life of itself. And

Melissa Sonners:

then lastly, I do like 30 day journeys and

Melissa Sonners:

experiences with as women. With these women,

Melissa Sonners:

everything that we do in those 30 days are two

Melissa Sonners:

minute tools and they're all with the intention

Melissa Sonners:

of retraining your amygdala. And so I literally

Melissa Sonners:

walk you through like here's day one, your action

Melissa Sonners:

item because I think a lot of women need, you

Melissa Sonners:

know, like, tell me what to do. Like tell me what

Melissa Sonners:

to do when I wake up and go sit so I don't do

Melissa Sonners:

this other thing. And so these journeys are all

Melissa Sonners:

walking through that. The one I have coming up in

Melissa Sonners:

the fall will probably be a self with journey

Melissa Sonners:

where instead of this Time isn't selfish. It's

Melissa Sonners:

self with. And I'm going to teach you how to get

Melissa Sonners:

back to being with yourself. And so it'll

Melissa Sonners:

probably be around like nurturing and

Melissa Sonners:

nourishment, which I think is just great for the.

Melissa Sonners:

For the fall. So all that will be coming out in

Melissa Sonners:

my emails if they want to just join. You know, my

Melissa Sonners:

newsletter email list on.

Meredith Oke:

My website sounds fantastic. So, yes, I know a

Meredith Oke:

lot of you will have resonated with this, so

Meredith Oke:

please go and sign up for from Melissa's

Meredith Oke:

newsletter and let the play begin.

Melissa Sonners:

Let the play begin. And then just in case they

Melissa Sonners:

see it, my Instagram handle and my podcast are

Melissa Sonners:

called Be Inspired Mama, just so they know that

Melissa Sonners:

those are the same. Same platforms, both me. I

Melissa Sonners:

just, I just wanted a playful term.

Meredith Oke:

Sounds good. And we'll put those. We'll put those

Meredith Oke:

links in the show notes, but just to have it in

Meredith Oke:

your head, Be Inspired Mama on YouTube.

Melissa Sonners:

Okay, so. So what, Meredith, as we wrap, like,

Melissa Sonners:

what are you gonna do today for connection with

Melissa Sonners:

yourself? Like, how are you gonna weave it in?

Meredith Oke:

Oh, you know, I think I'm going to take a little

Meredith Oke:

pause. I have couple more. A little more zoom

Meredith Oke:

time, and then I'm gonna go sit outside and just

Meredith Oke:

stare at the trees.

Melissa Sonners:

Daydreaming and daydream.

Meredith Oke:

Yeah.

Melissa Sonners:

So staring like that puts you in theta, which is

Melissa Sonners:

an amazing brain break when we're running in beta

Melissa Sonners:

all day. That most effective things you can do

Melissa Sonners:

for your brain. And if you've ever heard. I know

Melissa Sonners:

we're wrapping here, but one last thing, if

Melissa Sonners:

you've ever heard someone say, I get my best

Melissa Sonners:

ideas in the shower. Yes, that's theta. And so

Melissa Sonners:

you think about how we just don't daydream

Melissa Sonners:

anymore.

Meredith Oke:

Right.

Melissa Sonners:

Like if we have a moment, we're looking at our

Melissa Sonners:

phone, which we, a lot of us go to the phone as a

Melissa Sonners:

brain break, but it's overstimulating to our

Melissa Sonners:

nervous system. It keeps us in beta. And that's

Melissa Sonners:

why we don't actually ever feel. Feel like

Melissa Sonners:

replenished or regenerated the way that you feel

Melissa Sonners:

after you stare at a tree. You're literally going

Melissa Sonners:

into a regenerative brainwave when you do that.

Melissa Sonners:

And so one of the most effective things you can

Melissa Sonners:

do is to daydream is to stare out the car window,

Melissa Sonners:

is to look at the tree, is to sit in the

Melissa Sonners:

reception room of an office and not grab your

Melissa Sonners:

phone. But either people watch or grab a

Melissa Sonners:

magazine, it is. It will pay you back tenfold at

Melissa Sonners:

the end of your day. And that will mean at the

Melissa Sonners:

end of the day that you got everything done, but

Melissa Sonners:

you feel somehow, like, chilled, relaxed and

Melissa Sonners:

satisfied. That's how we do it. So I'm so glad

Melissa Sonners:

you're gonna go stare at your tree.

Meredith Oke:

Yeah. Oh, and I love that, that daydreaming

Meredith Oke:

aspect. Yeah, it's true. I came out of the sauna

Meredith Oke:

to my husband. I'm like, I had thought. He's

Meredith Oke:

like, okay, whatever I say, he's like, when is it

Meredith Oke:

now?

Melissa Sonners:

Those hits events.

Meredith Oke:

I told him, he's like, oh, you should go with the

Meredith Oke:

son of Morava. That's a really good idea. Yeah.

Meredith Oke:

And also, yeah, it reminded me, like, I have to

Meredith Oke:

read at least one paragraph or I can't sleep,

Meredith Oke:

even if I'm exhausted. It's like there's. And now

Meredith Oke:

you've explained, like, what's going on with my

Meredith Oke:

brain, why that is like.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah. And then for women who may be. Yeah.

Meredith Oke:

Not a screen.

Melissa Sonners:

Yes. Not a screen. And for women who, like, maybe

Melissa Sonners:

their brain is too fast moving for the book thing

Melissa Sonners:

yet. This is where some of those crutch tools are

Melissa Sonners:

really powerful. Like, that's where, you know,

Melissa Sonners:

biurnal beats. Like, if you can't even drop down

Melissa Sonners:

to be able to read the page without your head,

Melissa Sonners:

like, thinking of everything else, something like

Melissa Sonners:

barn obeats will start to get you to that place.

Melissa Sonners:

So I would do those at night until you start to

Melissa Sonners:

regulate and then replace it with the book.

Meredith Oke:

Perfect.

Melissa Sonners:

So there's. It's almost like there's like phase

Melissa Sonners:

one, phase two, phase three. If you can go right

Melissa Sonners:

to the book, that's great. But for my women who

Melissa Sonners:

need, like, that little portal bridge crutch by

Melissa Sonners:

your Nobel, it's a great brain tap, is a great

Melissa Sonners:

system for that. I know there's a lot of things

Melissa Sonners:

out there.

Meredith Oke:

Yeah. Because we're. Yeah. We're just so amped.

Melissa Sonners:

Well, it's an. We're living in a very. We're

Melissa Sonners:

living in a very amped world. And so we're

Melissa Sonners:

reacting to our environment. Again, it's because

Melissa Sonners:

we're. We're great, not because we're failing.

Melissa Sonners:

But then how can we recreate the environment in a

Melissa Sonners:

way that works for us? And that's. We do that on

Melissa Sonners:

the inside, so no matter what changes on the

Melissa Sonners:

outside, like, we've got this and we've got

Melissa Sonners:

control of this, and we know. We know now how to

Melissa Sonners:

work. Rather than working against this, we're

Melissa Sonners:

working with it. We're in alignment.

Meredith Oke:

So good.

Melissa Sonners:

Thank you, Melissa. You're welcome. I've thought

Melissa Sonners:

about this all day.

Meredith Oke:

All day.

Melissa Sonners:

Yeah.

Meredith Oke:

We'll have to do it again sometime.

Melissa Sonners:

Yes. I'm going to go ride my bike and then hit my

Melissa Sonners:

next meetings. Thank you so much for having me.

Melissa Sonners:

And thank you, listeners, for taking the time for

Melissa Sonners:

yourself to digest this information. Information,

Melissa Sonners:

it's truly life changing. So I would love to hear

Melissa Sonners:

at any point, if you want to send me a message,

Melissa Sonners:

like what one thing are you going to do or any of

Melissa Sonners:

your questions or anything, I would love, love to

Melissa Sonners:

hear from you.

Meredith Oke:

Yes.

Melissa Sonners:

Follow up. Love.

Meredith Oke:

And listen out.

Melissa Sonners:

Okay. Thanks, Erin.

Meredith Oke:

Thanks, everyone.

Melissa Sonners:

Have a great day.

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The Quantum Biology Collective Podcast

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Meredith Oke